I Know Myself Best When I'm Writing

If you’re like me, writing is not always writing. It’s reading and thinking, and more thinking, and more reading. But, it’s when I’m physically doing that act of writing when I learn the most about myself.

I’m a planner to the core. Yes. I have spreadsheets and outlines, and To-Do Lists to die for! Yet, as I sit down to write, my characters always veer me away from my plan. They take me to places I never knew lived in my brain. And they take me through journeys that I didn’t know were traveled in my heart.

When I’m writing, I’m able to connect to a special part of myself—somewhere in between brain and heart—it’s a subtle space in between where my true self hides. It’s soft and mushy and smells like lavender and honey, I suspect.

This is likely why I get cranky when I’ve had too many days and instances away from my free-thought writing time. Why my hubby and kids tell me with expressive eyebrows, “It’s okay if you leave for a while to write…” It’s because they know I need a moment to tap into that part of me.

I suppose that non-writer friends will be able to find that part of themselves in other ways. Perhaps that’s why people drink or smoke. Maybe that’s why others push themselves physically to the brink. I’ve been there too, but nothing compares to that sense of self-connection as when I write.

Paying attention to the shifts in the stories, the emotional reactions of the characters, and the way they weave so closely to my heart, it’s hard not to feel engulfed. But it’s never a sense of overwhelm.

My writing creates much more than words on a page. And it will forever be a way of life for me, whether I’m selling more books or keeping it all to myself. My writing takes me out of thi

s uncertain world and into my best grounded, yet soaring self. It’s when I know my true self best.

I could argue that this is exactly what most of us need right now. To be better.

I’m better.

I am better for being a writer.