There is something that I learned while writing my memoir-- actually there were MANY things I learned about myself, as well as the way that I look at and explore the world. But there was one thing that really stood out for me.
When looking over experiences in my life, I have often had to act strong. Many times I wasn't truly strong, so I faked it. I still do sometimes.
It was when l I had moments of real challenge and, more often, defeat that I was able to make sense of what it meant to be STRONG.
Strength doesn't come from the outcome of your experiences, necessarily. Strength comes from inside of you darkest self, your most vulnerable self.
It is in your vulnerabilities that your real strength is unleashed.
The times in my life that I showed true strength, were all times when I didn't feel strong at all. They were times of vast loneliness.
They were times of chest-wrecking heartache.
They were times of taking risks, thus being the most uncomfortable self I could know.
But the theme remains. I have always been my strongest when I was most vulnerable.
So, I say hold on to those icky-yicky feelings when you have them. You know the ones, the ones that make you feel dizzy and sunken,
like you can't even make a move. Trust that vulnerability. Hug that otherwise unwanted emotion, and know that it is making you better in the end.
Your vulnerability just might end up being your best unintended secret to success.
Hold tight, because it's not fun and it isn't a magic pill to happiness. But recognizing the power that you have over the worst of your emotions.
Trust the ick.
